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Talking
To your Children About Violence
Violence-no one wants to see
children victimized by it. No one wants to see kids hurt others.
Many things today-TV and movies, words and actions that adults
learned when they were children, and the daily news-send the message that
violent behavior or being a victim of violence is okay, even
commonplace.
WHAT CAN PARENTS AND OTHER CONCERNED ADULTS
DO?
Start early.
Talk about effective ways to handle frustration, anger, and arguments
during a child's youngest years and continue through the teen years.
Stress respect for self and others, describe how you have settled arguments
and other conflicts without violence, and teach children not to use words
that hurt. These valuable skills can last a lifetime.
For very young children, some physical acts such as hitting,
kicking and biting may be a part of their development. But by age three,
most can understand non-violent ways to deal with anger and frustration,
even if they are not perfect at using these skills.
WHEN YOU TALK WITH CHILDREN AND TEENS ABOUT
VIOLENCE
Make clear that you do not approve of violence as a way to
solve problems. Explain the difference between feeling angry and frustrated
and acting out these feelings violently.
Ask about the child's ideas on violence. Listen carefully and
encourage him or her to talk about worries, questions and fears.
Try not to lecture. Instead, take advantage of "teachable
moments." For example, when there's a violent scene on television,
talk about what happened and how people could have prevented it. When
something violent and freighting happens at school or in the neighborhood,
talk about what other choices besides violence might have been
available.
Make sure other adults in the child's life- a grandparent, a
cousin, a neighbor-know and respect your teachings about violence, It
confuses children when adults they trust send contradictory messages about
the ways people should act.
Know who the child's friends are and know how they feel about
violence. Always know where your children and their friends are.
Set a good example. Don't let yourself resort to violence to settle
conflicts or let off steam. Even in tense or very annoying situations,
calm down, walk away and talk it out.
SOME BASIC TIPS TO TEACH CHILDREN
Children need to learn to take care of themselves
when they are school, with friends, or just out and about. There are
many ways young people can reduce their risk of being involved in
violence.
Teach them to:
1. Play, walk, bike, or skate with a friends rather than alone, and
always let a responsible adult know where they are.
2. Never go anywhere with someone they and you do not know
and trust.
3. Not let an argument grow into a fight-cool off, talk it out,
even walk away if they have to. Settle the problem with words, not weapons
or fists.
4. Never carry a knife, gun or other weapon. It is against the law
and a sure way to turn a simple argument into a fight where someone gets
badly hurt or killed.
5. Not use alcohol or other drugs. the effects they have on
people's minds often encourage violence.
6. Stay away from kids who think fighting and other forms of
violence are "cool" and from places where fights often break
out.
7. Become a conflict solver for brothers and sisters, friends, and
classmates by getting training in mediation skills to help others work out
problems without violence.
8. Tell a police officer or other trusted adult if they see a
violent crime, and talk about it to you or another caring adult.
TAKE A STAND
Find out about conflict management and mediation training for adults
and children. Work with schools and parent organizations to teach these
skills in all grades.
Help develop recreational and educational programs for all young
people in the community, so they will have better things to do than fight
and can benefit from adult supervision and mentoring.
Information from the National
Crime Prevention Council
Safety
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